Tribute to Tayo Omidiji

The last conversation i had with you was a smile and a wave as i walked past your close on my way to catch the bus to work. You've been gone for a few days now and i have often wished several times that there was a reset button we could push. I have pondered your passing severally with more questions than answers. I have been upset with you. The reset button was so that once you opened your eyes, i could ask you who put such a thought in your head, who told you leaving was better. and then i would slap your head. Alas, there is no reset button. I have gone through denial, anger and now i am at acceptance. i accept that you are gone and you're not coming back. I accept your decision though i may never understand it. I am no longer upset with you. All is forgiven.
I remember always seeing you as i walked past and then we became friends and i got to work with you and spent many long hours talking about the sort of work we wanted to do in our lifetimes and the people we wanted to become. i went through a phase in 2008 when i wasn't sure i was supposed to devote my life to makeup and i spoke to you often about my uncertainty. You went ahead to book me as the makeup artist for your magazine's photoshoots and advertised my business in it. You always smiled, always teased, always encouraged. Without too many words, you asked me questions that made me think deeply about pursuing a career as a makeup artist and you encouraged me to work my dreams. Five years later, i am still hard at work, working those dreams, free from those fears and assured that this is part of my life's work.
What does 5th Avenue look like without you? I don't know. I still see you when i walk past. My heart aches as i see all the people stream in and out of your house, questions and sadness etched on their faces. I do not weep for you, Tayo. You are not dead. How can you possibly be? How? I cannot wrap my head around it.
All i see is your smile, your beautiful heart, mischief all over your face and your gentleness. 
As i write this, i cry. a sad smile, a slight shake of my head and I think, 'Kai! Tayo, if i catch you?'
Tayo Omidiji, beloved friend. I will never forget you!